Four years ago, I picked up a toilet roll holder in a charity shop for £1. It was still in its packaging - an important virtue, I feel, in a second-hand toilet roll holder.
This weekend, I bought the necessary fittings to affix it to the wall next to the toilet. When I say 'I bought', I mean, a kind friend said he was going to Abbey Hardware. I asked my friend to pick up a couple of rawl plugs suitable for plasterboard, gave him the money.
Abbey Hardware has featured here before. Forget Harrods (once reputed to sell everything): Abbey Hardware is one of the best shops in the world - a shop where it's still possible to go in, be served immediately by someone able to answer any question which begins with, 'Have you got one of these ...?' - a shop where the revelation of something pulled from a pocket, or drawn on a scrap of paper, or pictured on a phone, is met with serious attention.
For the past four years, the toilet roll holder has been asking to be fixed to a wall. It took me two years to make the choice about next to which of my two toilets to locate it. I can't explain the delay of two further years - not adequately, anyway.
Four years and two hours after buying the toilet roll holder, I screwed it to the wall in the shower room. I used a spirit level, a pencil, and a Phillips head screwdriver.
It wasn't that difficult, really.
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