I Sense An Ending

My friend, John Rae, husband of my godmother Anne, has died. John collaborated with me on the book of this blog, sending me line drawings through the post during 2020 when we were in lockdown. The drawings were, and are, a source of joy. 

It occurs to me, as I write, that today in the UK is Father's Day. I've checked the apostrophe, and yes, correctly, it comes before the s, but my inclination is to shift it after the s to honour the several father-figures in my life. 

The part of fatherliness that John Rae showed me was twinkle and fun, with serious giggles. If you need evidence for this, just look at his interpretation of life through drawing. Here's a sample of what he drew to accompany the edited blog entries that appear in I Buy A New Washer:

 I Find A Garden:

Just from reading my words, John was able to capture the spirit of my rooftop sanctuary. This felt, and feels, like a connection, a 'being heard' - something I crave, the thing that motivates me to write.

I Pitch My Tent

I thought often of John as I was holidaying last week with my longest-serving friend. We were camping in Norfolk this time, and one day, we arrived in Norwich:

I thought of other friendships that have come to an end, whether through death or separation. I felt sad. Nearly 50 years after first setting off for Norwich (see, I Arrive In Norwich) I finally went into the cathedral, experienced evensong. The music, the company of other Lizes, the stained glass - all these became a still point in my turning world. 

John was a skillful artist, architect and teacher. A humane man - much loved. After our book was published, I received notes through the post from many people asking to buy a copy. The majority of these were friends of John and Anne's. All spoke of long friendships, with affection and admiration. 

With death comes ending, as well as a continuation of thought and feelings. My thoughts and feelings have, this past few months, been circling around ideas for next poems. I've written little down, but I must get onto this in order to grow a little more. I also need to work out how to put up a curtain pole so that the curtains I bought in Norwich hang straight. 

So without either a bang or a whimper, I end this blog here. 

I Am Read.

I Thank You.

Fin 

All drawings by John Rae

I recommend trying to get hold of his Sketchbook of the World - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sketch-Book-World-John-Rae/dp/0952455706